After I arrived back in my home country after living my best life--10 months in the U.S, reality hits hard and deep. My reverse culture shock is a real thing. I cannot lie but I still feel it even now. As strong as before but I already tried my own way to get out for this problem. 

I remember that self-development event that I got for preparation returning back home,

"Do not be in rush to get out of your country,"

I tried to understand and absorb it with different perspective and get prepared for that. I did not realize, this thing is really a huge issue for me know. It it not really an issue, but I already know better my worth.

My expectation, my dreams, my ideas, cannot fit into my own country. How hard I tried to make something better--example with little project, still, the big problem is my own government. 

I was that girl who will be in silent if something happens in politics, but not now. I grown up and I already feel all the laws and regulations really affecting me in day to day basis. 

My social media becoming my own platform to share this issue. I still do not understand by people who have not wake up yet by a lot of issues in this country. Can you guys just wake up? Are you all not feeling so fed up?

Talking about this problem to my mom also a bad idea. She said I cannot say bad things about my own government. I do not care. If I cannot fight in the street, at least I can share how bad the condition now is. I do not have any dreams or something that I want to fight in here. 

Whatever that I do now is preparing me to get out of here. This place is not really my home. Just a place where I was born. I do not belong here. I do not know since when I am not proud of it. But I just do not enjoy and like being here. 

Whatever and whenever is it, as long as not in here.

- I still love the food and culture though, not the government.
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