Rabu, 16 Maret 2022

I'm not surprised because I'm scrolling down your profile when I got that notification, "Do you want to go to coffee shop?"

Our coffee shop, Havenagen. I was thinking back and forth about the consequences if I meet you there.  But I thought it's gonna be okay because my feelings are stable, I don't love you nor hate you. It's just a little reunion with my ex, before I left this city. 

You pick me up at the same place on our first date, that corner of the street. You wave your hand and said, "Hi," like it was the first time we meet. I feel a little bit nostalgic. 

When we arrived at Havenagen, the truth is I don't know what should I order. But here I am, still being nostalgic, I ordered Ovaltine Milk Tea. Surprisingly, you ordered the same way. Our signature, our favorite drink. I bet you still remember.

"So how's life? How you've been?" I started the conversation. You look more healthier than ever. It's been two months after we break up and I didn't see your face because I know you don't have any reasons to come back home.

You grow your beard and I said, "Still, your baby face can't lie." And your smile, so widely warm, I believe it can light up the town. 

After a lot of corversation and exchange some stories about our life, you said, 

"I can't lie, but I miss you,"

I chuckled, "How it's so sudden?"

You shake your head, "The truth is I always miss you, in another city I think about you. But it's gonna be weird to call you just to said 'I miss you', so yeah here I am."

Typically you, action speaks more than words. And at that time I can't lie too. I said I miss you too. It's hurt to strolling down the city and all I can remember is the memory of you when you are not here. We lost in our thoughts.

The sky is cloudy, it's always rain when we meet. You suggest to drive me home because you don't want me to get sick. The truth is I don't care, I still want to talk with you--a lil more time. All I can think is, 'What if this is the last time?'

So I asked you to visit my house. At first you said you shy of my mom, it's been a while. But yeah in the end, you still want it. And that living room always be a witness, how two people miss each other so much but can't be together. 

In the night I asked you, "Do you still have feelings for me?"

"Yes, but I got rejected by you, remember?"

Yeah how could I forget. I know you changed a lot, into the better version. But you know I just can not. How much feelings that I have for you just not enough to fight the fact that I can not be with you anymore. 

- 16 March 2022, 08:21 AM.

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